Creatively Content
It happened to me
I got a divorce.
It was a long time coming, not too messy, but in every way terrible. A different kind of terrible, one that will always be there, although one I can move forward from. I have to.
Would I recommend it? No. Would I change things now? Absolutely not.
It is lifting and a whole new path is clearing before me.
I’m making my house a home again
“Honey, look, I’ve been around a long time, ok? I wore leggings the last time they were trendy. I knew Tom Hanks when he was a Bossom Buddy. I have lived and I have learned.” -Lorelai Gilmore to Rory Gilmore
I adore Gilmore girls! Single mother Lorelai raises her daughter Rory on her own. She does it with style and humor, making their own way through the world. After seeing every single episode uncountable times…it is my background for cleaning house and painting and any other indoor project, really. And I highly recommend it.
I occasionally catch something I have missed seeing in all the times before. Most times it is because I was busy doing something else while it was on.
I’ve spent too many moments of my life like this, too busy and too distracted. If I could go back to my younger self, this would be my number one piece of advice: Don’t lose your moments.
Like Lorelai, I have lived and I have learned.
You have to live to learn. And it’s those moments you life that matter. I don’t ever want to miss another.
What I was taught & what I have learned
Always a good student, I’ve learned useful and important information. I know enough algebra to figure percentages, I know how the government system is supposed to function for our country, and I know all the flowers I love to grow need water and sunshine for photosynthesis. These are things I was taught.
But there is far more I have learned. Through my upbringing, I learned tough lessons about who not to trust and how to find a way to keep going when you know you can’t. I learned who I could trust and how I could follow. God gives us those people. I learned He always has a plan and He always makes a way.
I’m finally feeling I have the opportunity to put it all together. As I said before, I’m making my house a home again.
The key word here is making. It’s in the work and the effort.
It is now up to me what I do with it!
It’s an opportunity to rebuild. As I rebuild my identity, find my own value and voice, I realize I am so like those furniture and home pieces I love to repurpose.
While listening to a podcast recently, I heard someone say we treat other people the way we treat ourselves on the inside. It goes even further than that.
While people are absolutely more important than things, our environment matters. Caring for our surroundings is a direct reflection of what we are processing, learning, feeling, planning, accomplishing…on and on. It all matters.
Repurposing life
There is still plenty of life in me. I’m repurposing myself and I’m repurposing my home. Through it all, I have discovered contentment.
Contentment is not about being merely satisfied what you have. It’s certainly not complacent. It steps beyond acceptance and out into creativity. Contentment is the space where it all happens. It is a place where your feet are planted firmly. It is being present and taking the opportunities you have.
It’s where you take what you have and do all you can with it!
A global pandemic also provided excellent opportunities for learning. Along with learning I could accomplish the gigantic task of writing a novel, I found this space of contentment.
Seventeen years ago, my vision for this neglected country house was to transform it into a lovely cottage. While I did make progress toward this goal, my time was largely spent raising kids and accomplishing all the multi-facets this task entailed.
I loved every single second of it. I raised a couple of fabulous now young adults. They are each now parents themselves. Grandparenting is definitely all I ever heard it to be, and then some. Big some!
Now it’s time. It’s time to finish the job and make it all I ever dreamed the space could be. I’m content.
My inspiration
I love looking at houses!
I’ve always loved looking at and into them. Not in a creepy way. I don’t want to see the people. I just want to see what they have and what they do with it.
I want to see the furniture they live with. I want to see the colors they paint on their walls. I want to see what they hang on them, the artwork and items of décor. Whether they keep it clean or leave it messy, it’s all extremely interesting to me.
I spent a few weeks at my sister’s house to help care for our dad after an extensive surgery. They live in a colonial style house with brick adorning the front and a delightful patio we enjoyed in the evenings out back.
In the mornings, I walked the sidewalks with my daughter pushing my baby grandson in a stroller. As we discussed our plans, issues, and happenings, we admired all the houses of this attractive neighborhood.
The paint colors are varied, the building styles charming, and the whole of it a wonderful place to be. Established trees throughout shaded it perfectly. The people who live there care for their homes and it shows.
Large or small, fancy or plain, expensive or not, it’s truly all about what these people do with it.
When there is a global pandemic, television hosts broadcast from their homes. These are rare, awesome chances to peek inside. Jenna Bush Hager has the most adorable rustic wood fireplace mantlepiece. Jimmy Fallon has a fabulous farmhouse piece with colorfully painted drawers. Personal family belongings, framed art and photos on the walls, and the styles of furniture are unique expressions of people who’s usual appearances are planned and controlled. We have seen beyond what we are usually allowed to see. It has been such fun!
One of the best things about road trips is looking at all the houses. I’ve seen large homes in disrepair, with peeling paint and ripped window screens. Sometimes that paint color is unappealing as well. Junk discarded in the yard and weeds growing long are simply a matter of inattention.
There are definitely situations where a homeowner is ill or otherwise incapable and tasks go neglected. In most others, it’s due to a lack of desire to do what is needed to care for a property.
Then I’ve seen small houses, which obviously aren’t as pricey, but are far more valued. Attention to paint color scheme and effort put into its application do wonders. Pulling weeds and mowing grass regularly, parking cars in an orderly way, and properly disposing of junk and trash show a level of thoughtfulness every home deserves.
While painting, lawn mowers, and flowers do cost money, paint brushing, mowing, and planting do not. Cleaning up and clearing clutter does not either. What it takes is energy and time.
The effort is well worth it and important beyond appearance. It’s about caring yourself and respecting those around you.
It’s about an expression of what is important, both inside and outside. It’s about ourselves, our loved ones, and everyone around us. Consideration and compassion for our space means showing that to people. That’s what matters most.
Home looks different now for me
What’s inside always shows on the outside. Strength, resilience, and tenacity are on display. They are the paint, glue, and nails of my new life.
My kitchen has a repurposed island. Rescued from my dad’s old garage, vice still attached to one end, this lovely piece is now the center of happenings. When the kids were here for a weekend visit recently, three meals a day were prepared here. We gathered around it to talk and stood side by side to work. My grandson toddled circles around it.
It needs a good coat of varnish. I’ll be doing that soon. I do, too! There is always work to be done, but now we both have new life.
Repurposed broken flowerpots are one of my favorite touches of charm. Growing beautiful plants and flowers is a source of encouragement for me. Flowers are the living picture of your soul!
Seeing them grow in pots which could have easily been discarded ups that encouragement tremendously. How much more interesting is a pot once broken, now filled with a beautiful piece of living art?
Behind my backyard, a wooded acre has stood for all the years I have lived in my home. It has been used for dumping and burning rubbish, left neglected and lonely.
There is some deep symbolism here for me!
This wonderful place is reviving day by day. It is now happily peaceful, with tall weeds cut, leaves cleared, and trash disposed of. 800 pounds of junk was hauled to the dump!
Amazing, is what this place is. It’s becoming a usable space, now enjoyed and valued. My plans for beautifying it keep growing. Wildflowers and a walking path, with climbing riding toys for the baby boys are all on the list.
One of my grandsons will soon live in his home right behind mine. Every day he will see this fantastic place and know it is safe space for him to play and learn. He will grow up here knowing he is loved. All the work into this place shows on the outside what fills my heart!
When the other grandsons…and hopefully a few granddaughters, too, someday…come to visit, they will find and feel the same. They are loved and cherished. It’s all about the effort. They are certainly worth it all!
So am I, and so are you!
It’s what I am doing with it!
What I lost is now being restored. What I have found I appreciate more than I ever imagined. What I would tell younger me grows along with the work I’m doing. Most of all, it’s about those moments.
As much as I wish it, I can’t talk to her. And really it doesn’t matter. She is still here, living on in me. While it seems she was left behind, she still has a chance. She still has moments, new and different ones, each one every bit as significant. She is learning to be present.
What I can do now is what matters. The act of sharing with someone in my present space is paying my lessons forward. Being there to love and support someone who is currently walking through something I already have is time well spent.
It has been invaluable to me to have people in my life who knew firsthand what I was facing. Knowing they’ve climbed a mountain like the one overshadowing me showed me I could do it. I’ve learned the value in hearing someone tell me I’m going to be ok makes all the difference.
People have influence. Choose those you allow around you with care. With those we’re not able to choose, ask God for His words and His encouragement. He always provides. He is the One who truly has been there.
What you can do with it
Hang the art, frame the family photos, and display your sentimental items. Keep it clean. Do the work. Plant the flowers, water them well, and do the same with your soul. Drink the coffee and the wine. Live in every moment.
Be present in your home.
I will show you my projects in the months to come and show you what you can do with it. Until then…